BlogWonks

The anti-war, pro-nausea group "Breasts Not Bombs" has made another appearance, this time in DC, in order to facilitate your bulimia experience on a Sunday.

Surgeon General's warning: The above link contains dangerous amounts of trans-fats and an alleged woman who looks like a topless Gregg Allman. Click at your own risk.

Do we have the fortitude to stand behind our troops? And the fortitude to stand strong for them?  The problem lies with our politicians in Washington who use the war in Iraq as a political football instead of realizing lives are at stake. The public then loses hope that the Iraq war is a winnable situation. 

We should be listening to the voices of those who see war firsthand and do their jobs with such determination, gusto, and selflessness.  We can all learn from them. 

One brave and committed U.S. soldier writes to me:

 “I just wanted all my friends to know that true Iraqi’s want the same things we do in the US. I’ll give you another little insider story. There was an Iraqi soldier who was killed in action about 6 months ago. He was Sunni. The local mosque on the installation I serve at is Shia. The immam (like a priest or pastor at a Christian church) held a memorial service for this Sunni soldier even though the immam was Shia. He stressed that this soldier died for all of Iraq and he wanted to honor that sacrifice. What a story! There are signs that the Sunnis and Shias want to live in peace together, even though they disagree. I’m reminded of the struggle between the Catholics and Protestants in Northern Irleland and how after centuries of hatred, they are finding ways to peacefully coexist. The Sunnis and Shias need to do that too. With our help, if we are allowed to stay by the democrats, they will find a way. There is hope in the land. Please keep giving that word out.”

–Name Withheld

This soldier sent another message: 

“As many of you know, I am in Iraq for a year as an advisor to the Iraqi Army basic training program.  Many of you also know that I am very friendly by nature and have made many good friends among the Iraqi soldiers, NCO’s and officers I’ve met.  Some of my friends are Iraqi gate guards watching over our compound 24/7. 

This morning as I was leaving the compound with my interpreter, I stopped to talk to a group of off duty guards just hanging out.  We know each other well and spoke for a few minutes.  This is the month of Ramadan, one of the holiest of months in the muslim religion.  They fast during the day and eat dinner after sundown.  These friends invited me to share dinner with them tonight which they prepared especially for me.  I just returned from dinner with them.  I had my interpreter with me most of the time and we had a great time together.  We spoke of our families and children and showed off pictures with pride.  I was honored to be invited to share a meal with them and hope that because of me and others like me, they will see the US in a good light and share their thoughts and feelings with their friends and relatives.

These people are much like us in the US.  All they want is to live in peace with their families and be able to support them and care for them.  I hope that our presence here will enable them to do that.  I’m seeing positive signs that the leadership of General Petraius is starting to pay big dividends as the insurgents are on the run and disorganized in many places that have recently been hotbeds of violence.

I will always remember this mission and these good people.  May God grant them peace in the coming days.”

–Name Withheld

***

This speaks volumes to the camaraderie between the Iraqi troops and U.S. troops. It speaks volumes as to how our troops view General Patraeus…as honorable and trustworthy.  So when leftist groups attack Gen. Patraeus, they are attacking our troops on the ground as Patraeus is their “brother in arms.” 

Another brave soldier lost his life in Iraq on September 19, 2007.  I became informed of Sgt. Eddie Jeffers earlier this year when he wrote Hope Rides Alone. Sgt. Jeffers then described an irritation that many U.S. soldiers are experiencing; irritation from watching the incessant politicking of the Iraqi war back in the U.S. He begins his article by explaining the feelings that surge through his body…his reaction to his surroundings as he faces the possibility of attacks daily:

“I stare out into the darkness from my post, and I watch the city burn to the ground. I smell the familiar smells, I walk through the familiar rubble, and I look at the frightened faces that watch me pass down the streets of their neighborhoods. My nerves hardly rest; my hands are steady on a device that has been given to me from my government for the purpose of taking the lives of others.”…

“…There are the demons that follow me, and tempt me into thoughts and actions that are not my own…but that are necessary for survival.”…

“…But even thousands of miles away, in Ramadi, Iraq, the cries and screams and complaints of the ungrateful reach me. In a year, I will be thrust back into society from a life and mentality that doesn’t fit your average man. And then, I will be alone. And then, I will walk down the streets of America, and see the yellow ribbon stickers on the cars of the same people who compare our President to Hitler.”…

“…People like Cindy Sheehan are ignorant. Not just to this war, but to the results of their idiotic ramblings, or at least I hope they are. They don’t realize its effects on this war. In this war, there are no Geneva Conventions, no cease fires.”…

“…The enemy is becoming the very people whom we defend with our lives. And they do not realize it. But in denouncing our actions, denouncing our leaders, denouncing the war we live and fight, they are isolating the military from society…and they are becoming our enemy.”

Sgt. Jeffers does not say that America as a whole has turned on the troops, but he simply wants us to take a look at our actions and how they may have an effect on troop morale. He does not like the fact that America has simply opted for a quick way out of the Iraq war.

 ”America has lost its will to fight. It has lost its will to defend what is right and just in the world,” he continued.

Jeffers moves on to question in his article, the anti-war protesters. He wonders where they are when soldiers come home and need care.

As Sgt. Jeffers closes his article, he implores Americans to stand up and be fighters:

“We are the hope of the Iraqi people. They want what everyone else wants in life: safety, security, somewhere to call home. They want a country that is safe to raise their children in. Not a place where their children will be abducted, raped and murdered if they do not comply with the terrorists demands. They want to live on, rebuild and prosper. And America has given them the opportunity, but only if we stay true to the cause and see it to its end. But the country must unite in this endeavor…we cannot place the burden on our military alone. We must all stand up and fight, whether in uniform or not. And supporting us is more than sticking yellow ribbon stickers on your cars. It’s supporting our President, our troops and our cause.”

(read more of Sgt. Jeffer’s compelling article Hope Rides Alone below) 

In a show of support and honor to his son, Sgt. Jeffer’s father David took time to share with the public what he and his son talked of when he was still serving our country. David leaves behind some thoughts for all of us to meditate on:

“…As ‘Hope Rides Alone’ spread across this country and out beyond our boundaries beyond our shores, The Ride was no longer alone; it was a stampede of many a sleeping patriot, the true but hidden citizen who had been long lulled to sleep as though some magic spell had been cast over our country. The response was beyond all imagination. I told my wife Karen that I was naïve enough to believe Eddie’s article could spark a revolution.

A revolution where people finally say ‘ENOUGH!’ and ‘NEVER AGAIN!’ will we stand by and watch our brave men and women castigated by the unpatriotic, unworthy, uncaring, unloving, un-Americans who love power and hate all that is good about America. We said, and are saying, and will forever say to these pitiful politicians, psychopaths, pacifists, pinkos, and pathetic performers of Hollywood and the Left, ‘You will not exact defeat on our country as you did with Vietnam!’”…

“…Eddie did not want us dishonoring his life and service like so many have done. He wanted what he stood for to carry on even if he was killed in action.”…

“…Many of you are angry that Eddie has died all the while the enemy within continues to relentlessly disgrace our military and our Commander-in-Chief. More than one person has asked me how we answer this. How do we counter this obvious attack on the survival of our country?

Simple, we use the Ronald Reagan strategy; the strategy he used against the Soviet Union and communism. Reagan said: ‘Here’s my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.’”…

“…For me it is personal; it always has been. I will not let my son die in vain. People have been so sweet and say Eddie will never have died in vain, but he can. He can if we do not fight back; if we do not win. Eddie was on ‘modern day crusade to exterminate evil’ and I will change one word in our fight against the enemy within. We will not exterminate any political opponent, but we can and we must eliminate them from having any control over our country.” 

(read more of David Jeffer’s thoughts in Hope Rides Eternal below)

All of us should be fully thinking of U.S. troops as they are the ones in harm’s way. We need to make every effort to uplift them when we can.  We need to be thankful that there people who would selflessly put their lives at stake for others to live a better life. 

Remember that U.S. soldiers are ordinary Americans like you and I.  These soldiers, however, have answered the call to be brave to the core.  They are willing to stand in the face of danger and keep pressing on no matter how dark it seems and will serve their country.

Will you not serve them and have their back when they need it?  Stay positive America!

Related Reading 

Hope Rides Alone, article by Sgt. Eddie Jeffers

http://newmediajournal.us/guest/e_jeffers/print/02012007.htm

Real Deal in Ramadi, article by Sgt. Eddie Jeffers

http://newmediajournal.us/guest/e_jeffers/04172007.htm

Hope Rides Eternal, article by David Jeffers, father to Sgt. Eddie Jeffers

http://www.newmediajournal.us/guest/d_jeffers/09242007.htm

*Felicia (Fee) Benamon is a political columnist who writes for various conservative sites including RenewAmerica.us, Michnews.com, Daley-Times Post, Renaissance Women ( http://www.rwnetwork.net/ ) , Capitolhillcoffeehouse.com, TheConservativeVoice.com, Mensnewsdaily.com, and other news sites like AmericanChronicle.com.  She is a columnist and a reporter for the Mid-South Patriot ( www.freewebs.com/midsouth-patriot ) in Memphis, TN.  Felicia hails from a military background, and has been politically active since the 2000 elections. She also has been a guest speaker on a variety of conservative internet talk radio shows.

You may email Felicia:  Feereports@aol.com  

It's the same question every Christmas: What do you get for the person who's offended by everything? Why, you consider getting rid of Christmas, of course. Oh, and Jell-O.

Near Chicago, school bureaucrats are being fitted for their turbans:

The holiday traditions are facing elimination in some Oak Lawn schools this year after complaints that the activities are offensive, particularly to Muslim students.

Final decisions on which of the festivities will be axed will fall to the principals at each of Ridgeland School District 122's five schools, Supt. Tom Smyth said.

Parents expect that the announcement is going to add to the tension that has been building since officials agreed earlier this month to change the lunch menu to exclude items containing pork to accommodate Muslim students. News that Jell-O was struck from the menu caused such a stir that officials have agreed to bring it back. Gelatin is often made with tissue or bones of pigs or other animals.

My only question to school bureaucrats who are afraid of offended everybody except Christians and Jell-O lovers is this: You say that your decisions are based on "teaching kids tolerance for the beliefs of others," but how are you accomplishing that by showing them that the only way to accomplish true tolerance is by bending over for a group of people who are intolerant of everything?

Isn't banning everything in a school that offends a single religion in effect embracing that religion over others? Of course it is, but you'll never hear that seriously discussed at a school board meeting.

Christians, and everybody else for that matter, had better start getting offended themselves, or this country will be unrecognizable and perhaps even nonexistent in 50 years.

Now for you kids at Oak Lawn schools, you'd better start your next reading assignment:

Normally I laugh off these kinds of stories as Hollywood rumor mill tabloid tripe, but hey, it's Tom Cruise, so I sorta believe it:

Hollywood star Tom Cruise is planning to build a bunker at his Colorado home to protect his family in the event of an intergalactic alien attack, according to new reports.

The Mission Impossible actor, who is a dedicated follower of Scientology, is reportedly fearful that deposed galactic ruler 'Xenu' is plotting an evil revenge attack on Earth.

The story is made even more believable when you consider that Xenu plays a major role in the Scientology that Cruise embraces.

Here's an introduction to Xenu from Wikipedia:

Xenu (also Xemu), pronounced ['zi.nu:], according to Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, was the dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy" who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of his people to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using hydrogen bombs. Scientology holds that their essences remained, and that they form around people in modern times, causing them spiritual harm.

These events are known to Scientologists as "Incident II", and the traumatic memories associated with them as The Wall of Fire. The story of Xenu is part of Scientologist beliefs in extraterrestrial civilizations and alien interventions in Earthly events, collectively described as space opera by Hubbard.

After arriving on Earth, Xenu will trade in his DC-8 and talk Travolta into letting him use his 707.

I personally believe that psychiatric drugs are wildly over-prescribed, but in cases like this it's sad that somebody who seems in such desperate need of them remains vehemently opposed to their use.

Above we see Cruise's Colorado home where the alleged bunker is being built, along with the tennis court where Tom will take on Xenu in a best-of-five set match to determine who gains ultimate control of the universe.

Below, Tom Cruise demonstrates for Oprah how Xenu will swoop down and strike fear into the hearts of non-believing rich celebrities who haven't yet given their lives and checkbooks to Scientology:

by Jim Kouri, CPP

Diversity visas provide an immigration opportunity to aliens from countries with low rates of immigration to the United States. Diversity visa applicants must apply online, be selected by lottery, be interviewed, and be determined to be eligible before obtaining a diversity visa.

At the requested of the US Congress, the Government Accountability Office reviewed laws, regulations, and other documentation, and interviewed numerous US State Department officials both at headquarters and in the field.

The DV program is contributing to the diversity of U.S. immigrants, according to the Bush Administration and several lawmakers in Washington, DC. More than 500,000 aliens from countries with low rates of immigration to the United States have become legal permanent residents through the program.

Little is known about diversity immigrants once they enter the United States, such as whether they contribute to further diversity by petitioning for family members to immigrate. The DV program is vulnerable to fraud committed by and against DV applicants, but the State Department has not compiled comprehensive data on detected and suspected fraudulent activity.

At 5 of the posts the GAO reviewed, consular officers reported that the majority of DV applicants, lacking access to a computer or internet savvy, use “visa agents” to enter the lottery. Some agents take advantage of DV applicants.

For example, visa agents in Bangladesh have intercepted applicants’ program documents and charged ransoms of up to $20,000 or coerced applicants into sham DV marriages. Consular officers at 6 of the 11 posts reviewed reported that widespread use of fake documents, such as birth certificates, marriage certificates, and passports, presented challenges when verifying the identities of applicants and dependents.

Difficulty in verifying identities has security implications because State’s security checks rely heavily on name-based databases. In 2003, the US State Department’s Inspector General raised concerns that aliens from countries designated as state sponsors of terrorism can apply for diversity visas.

Nearly 9,800 persons from these countries have obtained permanent residency in the United States through the program. The GAO claims they found no documented evidence that DV immigrants from these, or other, countries posed a terrorist or other threat.

However, experts familiar with immigration fraud believe that some individuals, including terrorists and criminals, could use fraudulent means to enter or remain in the United States.

This places a premium on mitigating fraud risks. Despite taking steps to strengthen the DV program, State does not have a strategy to address the pervasive fraud reported by some posts. State believes that some legislative changes could mitigate fraud risks, but it has not made formal proposals for change and has not compiled data on program outcomes and fraud trends which would help decision makers consider whether legislative changes are needed.

Jim Kouri, CPP is currently fifth vice-president of the National Association of Chiefs of Police and he’s a staff writer for the New Media Alliance (thenma.org). Kouri also serves as political advisor for Emmy and Golden Globe winning actor Michael Moriarty.

He’s former chief at a New York City housing project in Washington Heights nicknamed “Crack City” by reporters covering the drug war in the 1980s. In addition, he served as director of public safety at a New Jersey university and director of security for several major organizations. He’s also served on the National Drug Task Force and trained police and security officers throughout the country. Kouri writes for many police and security magazines including Chief of Police, Police Times, The Narc Officer and others. He’s a news writer for TheConservativeVoice.Com and PHXnews.com. He’s also a columnist for AmericanDaily.Com, MensNewsDaily.Com, MichNews.Com, and he’s syndicated by AXcessNews.Com. He’s appeared as on-air commentator for over 100 TV and radio news and talk shows including Oprah, McLaughlin Report, CNN Headline News, MTV, Fox News, etc. His book Assume The Position is available at Amazon.Com. Kouri’s own website is located at http://jimkouri.us

A few days ago, it was rumored, in The National Enquirer, that the woman best known for playing Marcia on The Brady Bunch would divulge, in her forthcoming book, that she is a lesbian and once had dalliances with Eve Plumb, who played Jan.

If you're like me, you read news I thought to yourself, "Whew! Now Maureen's protected under the new hate crime legislation that passed through the Senate!"

The story of McCormick's lesbionic leanings turns out not to be true. Darn, and just when I was starting to realize how the term "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!" came to be.

By announcing that she's not gay, McCormick won't be protected by the expanded federal hate crimes laws which include violence based on a victim's sexual orientation, among other things.

As a big Brady Bunch fan, I must make this plea: Stay gay, Marcia! That way, if you get beat up or killed the perp will be guilty of a hate crime.

I have to admit though, as a straight non-minority member of an unprotected ethnicity, it's a good feeling to know that if I'm murdered, it won't be because the murderer hated me. So I've got that goin' for me… which is nice.

By the way, Larry Craig voted against the bill, the roll call of which was "two taps for 'yay,' one tap for 'nay'." Some are saying this is hypocritical of Craig, but remember, by saying he's not gay, the next time his foot accidentally touches the shoe of the man in the next stall and he gets beat up, he can't accuse that person of hating him, and he can't even have sex with him because, as we all know, he's not gay — so he's only further trapping himself with this vote.

Sure, the rumors concerning Maureen McCormick turn out to be false, but even so, this is still funny:

If you've never read Don Asmussen's work, check it out. He's hilarious.

James Hansen, for those who are lucky enough to be ignorant of nth-degree meteorology and climatology, is the Chuck Yeager of the global warming theory and even makes Al Gore look like a paper hat clad trainee at "We're All Gonna Die Burger." Hansen is often quoted as a global warming "expert" and an unbiased scientist who has no axe to grind.

Really? I found this interesting, albeit not very surprising:

A report revealed just this week, shows the 'Open Society Institute' funded Hansen to the tune of $720,000, carefully orchestrating his entire media campaign. OSI, a political group which spent $74 million in 2006 to "shape public policy," is funded by billionaire George Soros

Soros — a rare breed of Hungarian moonbat in Gabor sister male drag and the preferred self-hating uber-capitalist of vehement anti-capitalists everywhere — said in early 2004 that he'd give all his billions to see Bush defeated and has given millions to MoveOn.org and other leftist groups. Now he's funding "global warming studies"?

Everybody laughed when cigarette companies funded their own studies to determine whether or not smoking is dangerous. Have we lost our sense of humor for things like this? Don't worry though, I'm sure Soros will fund a study to determine whether or not Hansen's research is biased in order to silence any skepticism.

Katie "$2.51 per viewer" Couric spoke at the National Press Club on Tuesday. Here's part of what she said:

The former “Today” show anchor traced her discomfort with the administration’s march to war back to the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks.

“The whole culture of wearing flags on our lapel and saying ‘we’ when referring to the United States and, even the ‘shock and awe’ of the initial stages, it was just too jubilant and just a little uncomfortable. And I remember feeling, when I was anchoring the ‘Today’ show, this inevitable march towards war and kind of feeling like, ‘Will anybody put the brakes on this?’ And is this really being properly challenged by the right people? And I think, at the time, anyone who questioned the administration was considered unpatriotic and it was a very difficult position to be in.”

How come it's okay to wear everything else on our lapel? We've got breast cancer awareness ribbons, AIDS awareness ribbons, colon cancer awareness ribbons, awareness awareness ribbons and irritable bowel awareness ribbons — why not an "United States awareness" ribbon? Is it because "we" aren't watching Couric's newscast and she's a little bitter?

Earlier today I was flipping through one of the media trade magazines and ran across an ad for the annual Walter Kaitz Foundation "Expressions of Diversity" dinner. Here's the goal of the Kaitz Foundation:

The Walter Kaitz Foundation was established in 1980 as a not-for profit organization with the purpose of diversifying the executive suites of the cable television industry with talented and qualified ethnic minorities.

This was accompanied by a picture taken at the 2006 dinner, and something struck me as mildly humorous. I found the same picture that is in the magazine on the Foundation's website.

Click the picture for a larger version.

Looks like they've got a ways to go before closing in on the Foundation's stated goal, eh? That room's about as diverse as the tee sheet at Augusta National Country Club.

Hundreds of people whose parents didn't abort them marched at a big Planned Parenthood rally in Aurora Illinois yesterday. Due to a scheduling conflict, Hillary was unable to show up wearing her famous "If abortions are outlawed, only outlaws will be allowed to screw around with my husband" t-shirt. Darn.

Here are a bunch of photos taken at the rally (all of the people in those pictures have one thing in common — guess what it is). This bunch has really gone over the edge since the Supreme Court upheld the ban on partial birth abortion — I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say "partial birth abortion" — that should read "intact dilation and evacuation followed by nonviable tissue mass dumpster deposit."

At the rally, calls for more funding for abortion were the order of the day, because apparently a woman can never be truly free until she is able to kill her baby with your money. Anything less violates the very tenet of liberal philosophy: If you're paying for something with your own cash, you're being oppressed.

The high-wire act they're performing here is to be able to keep chanting "keep your laws and religion off our bodies" while simultaneously sticking their hands in your back pocket and not having that come off as laughable irony.

If you asked some of these people to give you money so you could have your dog put to sleep even though there was nothing wrong with Fido, you'd probably have PETA picketing in front of your house within the hour — but this is a "right"?

While we're on the subject, what other "rights" require a victim? Just curious.

Lots of news out there on this Wednesday morning and time is short, so I'll try to sum it quickly:

–And the most influential pundit in America is…Roger Ebert? Thumbs down.

–These guards at a nuclear power plant are anything but up & atom.

–As soon as Jesse Jackson gets back from Jena, Louisiana, Bill O'Reilly has some explaining to do. Get out yer checkbook, Bill. Just make it out to "Rainbow Coalition."

–Jorj Boosh has fo-NE-tik TELLI-promt — Oh, so then they actually spell it out as "nu-kew-ler" for him? I thought that was spontaneous, but I was wrong.

–Because of Kiefer Sutherland's performance on a police breathalyzer test, the FOX network announced that their hit show "24" will now be called ".24"

–Finally — The DREAM Act: Illinois Rep. Dick Durbin wants joining the U.S. military to qualify illegals for legal status. Once in the military, Durbin can then compare then to Nazis operating gulags and said people will want to go back to where they came from. It's a flawless plan really.

Also, any illegal will be granted permanent legal status and given a job as a border security officer provided they arrest themselves immediately after crossing into the U.S.

Hillary Clinton is now using Bill to sell her presidential bid like he's Corbin Bleu and her campaign is the cover of Tiger Beat magazine.

Here's the latest: On Hillary's website, if you enter by Sunday's deadline, you might be one of three lucky winners chosen to sit down and "watch a debate with Bill."

Hurry up and enter, because two of the winners have already been chosen:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told Columbia University that his country doesn't have the "phenomenon" of homosexuality the way the United States does.

Well, there's a good reason for that: they hang homosexuals in Iran.

According to Lucianne G., it looks as if the hardline Iranians might want to save a healthy length of rope for Mahmoud himself:

Here in Michigan, there's a petition drive to get former veep and environmental crusader Al Gore on the ballot for the January 15th primary.

I saw one petitioner this afternoon on my way out of Home Depot. Unfortunately, I couldn't sign the petition as I had my hands full with a new gas powered leaf blower.

Later on I found a news story that says the effort to collect the 12,396 signatures needed is indeed an uphill battle because they can't find enough people to hawk the petition.

I don't doubt it. It's been unseasonably hot here in Michigan, and the petitioner I saw today was sweating like Larry Craig driving past a highway rest area. Standing in a parking lot collecting signatures just isn't an experience that many wish to undertake.

In other words, if Gore doesn't get on the ballot, global warming may well be to blame — which is of course all the more reason to draft Gore.

The Catch-22 here is too glaring to ignore.

From the Times Online — Men lead rush to the beauty salon despite Islamist threats:

Midway through a society dinner party in the Pakistani capital, conversation turned to the recent deportation of Nawaz Sharif, the former Prime Minister, to Saudi Arabia.

“I couldn’t believe it, yah,” a young Pakistani woman said in an exaggerated English accent, as a servant refilled her glass of wine. “I mean, did you see those hair implants? They were so obvious.”

Ever since Mr Sharif reemerged into the political spotlight, Pakistanis have been gossiping about the appearance of a thin covering of black hair on his previously bald scalp. Most were amused. Some were appalled. But hardly anyone was surprised.

Hair implants have become commonplace here in the past few years as wealthier urban males embrace cosmetic treatments that were once regarded as effeminate and even unIslamic. From facials to manicures, back waxes to eyebrow threading, a host of services are now on offer at a growing number of spas, salons and clinics catering to the male market.

“I never bothered with this before,” Humayun, 28, said after a facial at the Islamabad branch of Depilex Men, part of the biggest chain of beauty parlours in Pakistan. “I guess there’s just more pressure on men to look good these days.”

Who will be the first to open a Pink Sapphire franchise in Pakistan? Time will tell.

One thing's for sure — the war on terrorism could be taking a dramatic turn. John Edwards is clearly the leader the world needs at this time in our history. Zeitgeist!

The gay World Cup is underway in Buenos Aires.

In case you're wondering, the gay World Cup in Argentina is just the same as the regular World Cup except that, instead of yelling "goaaalll!" when somebody scores, the announcer cranks up the soundtrack from Evita.

Otherwise the rules are the same as in any soccer match featuring straight players (pictured below):

That women are oppressed is one of our nation’s greatest, and most cherished, beliefs. It also happens to be a myth. In contemporary America, to be a female is to live like a Spartan among helots. Edward Klein’s new biography, Katie: The Real Story, elucidates the nature of CBS’s grand dame of journalism, Katie Couric, while also documenting the way in which being a woman in our society opens widely the door of privilege.

Of course, the text itself tells only half the story. The media’s bizarre reaction to this work is the other half, and provides compelling proof of our culture’s bias in favor of the fairer sex. In light of the heated journalistic response, the first thing that struck me about this work was the sobriety of Mr. Klein’s narrative. The author’s interjections and opinions are seldom heard. The biographer allows, for the most part, those who know Ms. Couric to describe her and to reveal her psychology…which is how it should be.

In fact, the narrator impressed this reviewer as being apolitical. He outlined his subject’s well-known leftist inclinations, but never once refuted her assumptions. Mr. Klein was previously employed by Newsweek and The New York Times which suggests that he may well share Ms. Couric’s leftward perspective, but that no partisan viewpoint was discernible in these pages is a testament to his fairness and objectivity.

It is baffling why so many commentators were offended by Mr. Klein’s depiction of Ms. Couric. Do we actually expect celebrities to be a mirror image of their PR polished personas?

I grant that the Katie we meet in The Real Story is not an admirable person, yet Klein’s portrayal of her is logically sound. Ms. Couric displays personality traits which accurately correlate with the course of her development. A former colleague noted that she was “one of the most ambitious women I’ve ever met.” In the context of her history, the assessment seems indisputable.

Destiny paired Ms. Couric’s first rate ambitions with second rate talent. That is not so uncommon, but, despite marginal looks and an unserious mind, she managed to reach the top of journalism’s status hierarchy. Without a reckless drive to succeed such an ascent would have been impossible.

Unfortunately, victorious outcomes do not mean the end of anxiety for insecure individuals. Their sense of inadequacy heightens when they get what they want. The famous anchor has hid her insecurities within a princess-like shell of entitlement. That too is not so uncommon. Ms. Couric’s flaws are evident in the personality characteristics she showcases. The true Katie is aggressive, dominant, manipulative, charming, calculating, obsessed with money, vindictive, egotistical, narcissistic, and fiercely competitive.

Out of these attributes the ones which have served her best are charm and empathy, but, in all likelihood, they are but a facade. The events of her life belie their existence. As her husband lay dying of cancer—and during the same month in which he passed away—Ms. Couric left for the Bahamas to go on a—girlfriends only—celebration of her fortieth birthday. When she returned she had Judy Collins sing “Battle Hymn of the Republic” at his funeral; even though her departed husband was a Virginian devoted to the Confederacy. A week after his death she had already removed his ring and began wearing it round her neck.

While on The Today Show she duped millions of American women into thinking she was just like them even though her displays of perkiness and empathy were probably just an act. In one sense, however, Ms. Couric is just like them as her life was imbued with privileges known to few men. She termed her early position as a desk assistant at ABC as “the most humiliating job I ever had.” The reason? She had to answer phones, make coffee, and create ham sandwiches. The horror! Only the word privilege can describe a person who regards the performance of mundane tasks as being acts of oppression.

On another occasion, she felt debased after a network executive made comments about her breasts. What is left unsaid in the account is whether she intentionally displayed them on that day. Her reaction to his statement is far from unique as being a woman in America means that you can wear whatever you want but maintain the right to become offended should a male make mention of your bared body parts.

During her first few Today Show episodes she tossed “zingers” at co-host Bryant Gumbel. The aggression was unanticipated and without cause. When Gumbel returned fire by saying something about her appearance, she cried foul and said, “I don’t want too much attention paid to my looks—it’s sexist.”

Is it sexist to make fun of someone’s physical features? Of course not. Everyone has an appearance, and if one is sensitive about the way they look then they should refrain from verbally aggressing against others. Ms. Couric’s condition is a classic condition of dishing it out but not being able to take it. Political correctness, along with the elevation of women in our society, results in their being able to get away with this unjust posturing …forever.

Ironically, Ms. Couric appears to be obsessed with her appearance. She dresses many years younger than her age, has contracted the services of a personal trainer named “High Voltage” to sculpt her body, wears clothes that are a size too small, reportedly had Botox treatments, and allegedly had collagen injected into her lips. She changes her hairstyles constantly and attributes it to boredom rather than what it probably is—a reflection of psychological instability.

She also wears skirts with a high hemline, but when the media reported this fact she dubbed them [you guessed it] sexist. It is unknown whether the stage hands on The Tonight Show saw sexism in Ms. Couric’s request to cut away the front of Jay Leno’s desk so that the audience could better see her legs. The uber-sensitive Ms. Couric, perhaps in an attempt to prove that every negative word written about her was true, then addressed the crowd by telling them her breasts were “actually real” and that she intentionally wore an outfit “a littler sexier” for the occasion.

Should the reader doubt my statements about female privilege they would be wise to ask themselves what comments about men are deemed “sexist” by our society. Can’t think of any? Neither can I. Sexism is a one-way street in our country. It’s verboten to call a woman certain names like a “b” or a “c” or an “h,” but there are no forbidden words when it comes to describing men. The inequities between the sexes have never been greater than they are today.

The real misogynist in our story may well be Ms. Couric. At this point in her reign at CBS, female reporters are estimated to receive “40 percent fewer assignments” than they did when Bob Schieffer was in charge. While at NBC, it was said that “she sends assistants running to the ladies room in tears.” This is to be expected as a 50-year-old diva cannot stay a diva for long if they fail to purge superior specimens from the landscape.

That Ms. Couric puts the “v” in vile is a given, but not in the eyes of the mainstream media. They embrace every tenet of political correctness and regard women as being more in need of celebration than factual depiction.

Salon described Mr. Klein’s biography as being consistent with his oeuvre because he paints celebrities “matching shades of b**ch.” Well, one reason for this may be the figures he chooses to write about. His last book concerned Hillary Rodham Clinton, and no work could do our future president’s personality justice if it did not at least imply the b word. Also apt is the term’s use in reference to Ms. Couric. The network anchor brings innumerable conflicts to work with her and they cannot all be stored neatly into an overpriced Louis Vuitton bag.

As I noted earlier, her constant reading of sexism into non-sexist situations could be due to a variety of factors such as a need to project her own failings upon others, a lack of intellectual depth on her part or flaming narcissism. Every celebrity who signs a 65 million dollar contract gets ridiculed by someone, but Ms. Couric seems to think the general public’s lack of sympathy for rich folks is a conspiracy directed at women alone. She would be wise to ask Eli Manning and Carlos Zambrano for their opinions on this subject.

There has been little positive in the media’s response to The Real Katie. The Washington Post’s Louis Bayard wondered if a similar book would be written about a man, but there is no reason to wonder about that as one is currently out. Marvin Kitman’s The Man Who Would Not Shut Up: The Rise of Bill O’Reilly was unauthorized and reveals all sorts of things about which the Irish blowhard cannot be pleased. Of course, O’Reilly does not have the luxury of hiding behind PC non-sequiturs as a means to dispel criticism; so, without a link to an ism The Post felt safe to disregard Kitman’s account.

Mr. Bayard also argued, “Klein has made a second career of leaving knuckle prints on famous women.” So what? What’s vital when it comes to reporting is whether or not one has told the truth. The genitals of the people involved should be superfluous to the process. One can see from the positions put forth by The Post that merely depicting a woman in a negative light has become a crime in itself.

When all else fails, as it did with Mr. Bayard’s weak review, leftists personalize their objections. After all, no political movement built solely upon precepts so empty and vacuous that they fit neatly onto protest placards could last for long. The Post concludes that “Maybe it’s time, too, for Edward Klein to find an ambitious woman he likes.” Maybe it’s time for the mainstream media to embrace substance over style, meaning over minutia, and discover the inherent joys of simply telling the truth. Any book that does that is one to be championed.

Let justice be done though the heavens [and PC relics] fall. The Real Katie rankles because it depicts…the real Katie.

Bernard Chapin is the author of the recently released Women: Theory and Practice and Escape from Gangsta Island.

Today's column at WorldNetDaily began with the news that Beaner's Coffee, a large chain here in the midwest, would be changing their name, as "Beaner's" can also be a disparaging term toward Hispanics.

This got me to looking around at the business world that surrounds us and trying to figure out what other potentially offending business names are right under our noses but have yet to be noticed.

Read "Beaner's Coffee goes PC to avoid Hispanic offense" for the list of who might be next.

by Jim Kouri, CPP

The Department of Homeland Security’s recent 4-year anniversary provides an opportunity to reflect on the progress DHS has made.

The creation of DHS was one of the largest federal reorganizations in the last several decades, and the Government Accountability Office has reported that it was an enormous management challenge and that the size, complexity, and importance of the effort made the challenge especially daunting and critical to the nation’s security.

Prior work on mergers and acquisitions has found that successful transformations of large organizations, even those faced with less strenuous reorganizations than DHS, can take at least 5 to 7 years to achieve. This testimony is based on an August 2007 report evaluating DHS’s progress since March 2003. Specifically, it addresses DHS’s progress across 14 mission and management areas and key themes that have affected DHS’s implementation efforts.

Since its establishment in March 2003, DHS has made varying levels of progress in implementing its mission and management areas, as shown in the following table.

In general, DHS has made more progress in its mission areas than in its management areas. Within its mission areas, DHS has made progress in developing plans and programs, but has faced challenges in its implementation efforts. Key underlying themes have affected DHS’s implementation efforts.

These include strategies to achieve agency transformation, strategic planning and results management, risk management, information sharing, and partnerships and coordination.

For example, analysts have designated DHS’s implementation and transformation as high-risk. While DHS has made progress in transforming its component agencies into a fully functioning department, it has not yet addressed elements of the transformation process, such as developing a comprehensive transformation strategy.

DHS also has not yet fully adopted and applied a risk management approach in implementing its mission and management functions. Some DHS component agencies have taken steps to do so, but this approach is not yet used departmentwide.

In addition, DHS has taken steps to share information and coordinate with homeland security partners but has faced difficulties in these partnership efforts. Given DHS’s leading role in securing the homeland, it is critical that the department’s mission and management programs operate as efficiently and effectively as possible. DHS has taken important actions to secure the border and transportation sectors and to prepare for and respond to disasters.

DHS has had to undertake these missions while also working to transform itself into a fully functioning cabinet department — a difficult task for any organization.

As DHS moves forward, it will be important for the department to continue to develop more measurable goals to guide implementation efforts and to enable better accountability. It will also be important for DHS to continually reassess its mission and management goals, measures, and milestones to evaluate progress made, identify past and emerging obstacles, and examine alternatives to effectively address those obstacles.

Jim Kouri, CPP is currently fifth vice-president of the National Association of Chiefs of Police and he’s a staff writer for the New Media Alliance (thenma.org). Kouri also serves as political advisor for Emmy and Golden Globe winning actor Michael Moriarty.

He’s former chief at a New York City housing project in Washington Heights nicknamed “Crack City” by reporters covering the drug war in the 1980s. In addition, he served as director of public safety at a New Jersey university and director of security for several major organizations. He’s also served on the National Drug Task Force and trained police and security officers throughout the country. Kouri writes for many police and security magazines including Chief of Police, Police Times, The Narc Officer and others. He’s a news writer for TheConservativeVoice.Com and PHXnews.com. He’s also a columnist for AmericanDaily.Com, MensNewsDaily.Com, MichNews.Com, and he’s syndicated by AXcessNews.Com. He’s appeared as on-air commentator for over 100 TV and radio news and talk shows including Oprah, McLaughlin Report, CNN Headline News, MTV, Fox News, etc. His book Assume The Position is available at Amazon.Com. Kouri’s own website is located at http://jimkouri.us

The first measurable rainfall in five months fell in Southern California on Saturday. The soaking rain was followed today (Sunday) by one of those million dollar Southern California days.

The morning was cool and damp, but the sun broke on the horizon about 7 A.M. in a full blaze of glory. The clear blue sky stood in stark contrast to the smog-laden skies of August so recently passed. By Noon, all trace of surface moisture in the lush Van Nuys/Sherman Oaks Park was all but history.

These are the kind of Fall days that often bring snowbirds from colder climes to bask in the warm California sun. It appears; even a few scary judges can be drawn from their lairs, if the opportunity for lechery and larceny looks favorable to them.

By mid morning Fathers 4 Justice (F4J) and the National Coalition of Free Men, Los Angeles (NCFMLA) had the tents up, the signs hung and the smell of barbecuing hamburgers wafting on the gentle, warm breeze. A steady stream of guests and visitors began to filter in and out of our picnic area, joining us for food, a soft drink, or more often, just information about Father’s and men’s issues.

We were amazed at the number of people dropping in, who just happened to be passing by and wanted to talk with us about an issue. A few people just wanted to say hello and thank us for speaking up for Father’s and men’s issues. Once again, the number of people on our “contact us” list grew significantly and a fun time (dealing with other wise serious issues) was had by all.

At one point in the days events, several family law judges (or rather a parody of them), appeared as part of the day’s festivities. The scary looking judges added a certain entertainment value, but also served to underscore the harsh realities that men face when going through family law issues. The last time we saw Judge “Crushmen,” (upper left photo, below) he was running down Hazeltine Avenue with a bunch of men’s wallets in his hand and yelling, “I took it all!”

Next month, October, is the official month for Halloween, and rumor has that Judge Crushmen has advised some of his judicial cronies to hit the Father’s and men’s rights picnic/rally in the Van Nuys/Sherman Oaks Park for the “easy pickins.” Please stay tuned as further details develop.

If you’ve never experienced a truly horrifying Halloween before, just try comprehending the horror that America’s Family law judges do to Fathers and men everyday in this country. We expect to see more revelation of the frightening realities next month, on Sunday, October 28, 2007, from 10 AM to 2 PM (our next picnic rally in the Van Nuys/Sherman Oaks Park).

Come join us this Halloween season and find the deeper human meaning underlying Lord Byron’s famous line, “And if I laugh at any mortal thing, tis that I may not weep,” as it applies to family law and family law judges.

The lamestream media told you:

The political left, represented by the Democrats, is the more reasonable, compassionate, peace-loving, common sense, trustworthy and decent of the two sides.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

The lamestream media could never get away with saying that if they actually showed you what the political left is up to: http://www.zombietime.com/hall_of_shame/

CAUTION: Very vile and upsetting material posted at this site, not for the young or the weak.

The lamestream media told you:

The United Nations, the world body dedicated to peace and an end to human suffering, is working diligently for global justice and deserves your support and massive tax dollars.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

David B. Kopel, Paul Gallant & Joanne D. Eisen, writing for the BYU Journal of Public Law (forthcoming, 2007), ask:

Does a woman have a human right to resist rape or murder? Do people have a human right to resist tyranny? The United Nations Human Rights Council has said “no” — that international law recognizes no human right of self-defense.

In an article, “The Human Right to Self-Defense”, they note that the Human Rights Council declares that very severe gun control — more restrictive than even the laws of New York City — is a human right.

Surveying international law from its earliest days to the present, this article demonstrates that self-defense is a widely-recognized human right which no government and no international body has legitimate authority to abrogate.

The issue is especially important today, as many international advocates of international gun prohibition are using the United Nations to deny and then eliminate the right of self-defense.

For example, the General Assembly is creating an “Arms Trade Treaty” which would define arms sales to citizens in the United States as a human-rights violation, because American law guarantees the right to use lethal force, when no lesser force will suffice, against a non-homicidal violent felony attack.

The article analyzes in detail the Founders of international law — the great scholars in the fourteenth through eighteenth centuries who created the system of international law. The Article then looks at the major legal systems that have contributed to international law, such as Greek law, Roman law, Spanish law, Jewish law, Islamic law, Canon law, and Anglo-American law.

In addition, the article covers the full scope of contemporary international law sources, including treaties, the United Nations, constitutions from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, and much more. The Article shows that international law — particularly its restraints on the conduct of warfare — is founded on the personal right of self-defense. [Copied from the Article abstract.]

http://www.davekopel.com/DavePage.htm

A hard habit to break at Detroit's Metro Airport:

You never know — she could be one of the famous Nuns with Guns.

This reminds me of my own airport security story over three years ago — minus the life-long celibacy element, of course.

(h/t LGF)

The lamestream media told you:

“Migrants fleeing as hiring law nears,” according to the headline in Mexico-border-state Arizona, referring to a new law that will revoke the business license of any employer found hiring undocumented migrants, also known as illegal aliens.

“A growing number are pulling up stakes out of fear they will be jobless come Jan. 1 when the law takes effect. It’s impossible to count how many undocumented immigrants have fled,” because they’re undocumented. “At least several hundred have left,” since the bill was signed, based on anecdotal interviews by immigration reporter Daniel Gonzalez.

“Immigration hard liners,” a derogatory term for people who respect the nation’s borders, are cheering, according to the page one Sunday report. More than 70% of the public voted to take such actions when given the chance in a recent election.

People supporting illegal immigration have loudly declared that laws to stop the invasion will not work. Now, with a single common-sense law finally on the books, they will need to adopt new arguments.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

I told you so.

The lamestream media told you:

Hybrid gasoline/electric-battery cars promise a clean future and protection of the environment, according to leading scientists and environmentalists who have studied the issue. The government is being pressed to enact laws requiring development of the vehicles, which can be simply plugged in and recharged daily.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Experts have failed to note, according to leading experts, that the electrical power grid in America is running near maximum, and tops out on hot days when people run air conditioners.

“Where is the extra power supposed to come from if we have to run every car in the country on electricity?!” asks one electric company spokesperson.

According to research, environmentalists pushing for the electric cars are the same people pushing to ban any new form of electrical generating capacity in the country. The inconsistency has not been noticed by the lamestream media.

“If we run all our cars on electric,” one expert notes, “we’re going to have to burn an awful lot more oil and coal in plants we don’t even have. Where is that supposed to come from?” he asks, on condition of anonymity.

Hydrogen-powered cars, believed by some to be the answer because they run on water, overlook the fact that water, which humans must drink to survive, is often in shorter supply than electricity. Some scientists have also noted that, because of the laws of physics, it takes more power in electricity to split water and get the hydrogen, than the hydrogen itself provides. Efforts to repeal the laws of physics have met with stiff resistance.

Undrinkable sea water, sometimes mentioned as an alternative, unfortunately requires more electric power to desalinate than is currently available, and it would then still have to be split to get the hydrogen. No one has recommended where you might stockpile all the highly corrosive salt left behind. The effect of desalinating significant portions of the world’s oceans is unknown.

An 82 year old woman and her daughter have vowed to stop a possible Mahmoud Ahmadinejad visit to Ground Zero in New York on Monday — saying it would be like letting Hitler lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Joseph Farah has more on why allowing Ahmadinejad in the country is such a bad idea.

Here's the funniest part (provided idiocy mixed with lunacy makes you laugh). You and I are paying for this guy's security.

Theories for the motives behind the visit abound, but my guess is that Ahmadinejad is probably only in the country to interview for a professorship at a major university — most likely at Columbia, where Ahmadinejad is set to speak.

Columbia has a history of this kind of thing. In 1933, that school invited Hitler crony and Nazi Germany's ambassador to the United States to speak. Hey, at least they're consistent.

by Jim Kouri, CPP

The overall goal of the U.S. National Drug Control Strategy, which is prepared by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP), is to reduce illicit drug use in the United States.

One of the strategy’s priorities is to disrupt the illicit drug marketplace. To this end, since fiscal year 2000, the United States has provided about $397 million to support Mexican counternarcotics efforts. According to the Department of State (State), much of the illicit drugs consumed in the United States flows through or is produced in Mexico.

According to the U.S. interagency counternarcotics community, hundreds of tons of illicit drugs flow from Mexico into the United States each year, and seizures in Mexico and along the U.S. border have been relatively small.

The following illustrates some trends since 2000:

The estimated amount of cocaine arriving in Mexico for transshipment to the United States averaged about 275 metric tons per year. Reported seizures averaged about 36 metric tons a year.

The estimated amount of export quality heroin and marijuana produced in Mexico averaged almost 19 metric tons and 9,400 metric tons per year, respectively. Reported heroin seizures averaged less than 1 metric ton and reported marijuana seizures averaged about 2,900 metric tons a year.

Although an estimate of the amount of methamphetamine manufactured in Mexico has not been prepared, reported seizures along the U.S. border rose from about 500 kilograms in 2000 to highs of almost 2,900 kilograms in 2005 and about 2,700 kilograms in 2006.

According to U.S. law enforcement officials, this more than fivefold increase indicated a dramatic rise in supply.

In addition, corruption persists within the Mexican government and challenges Mexico’s efforts to curb drug production and trafficking. Moreover, Mexican drug trafficking organizations operate with relative impunity along the U.S. border and in other parts of Mexico, and have expanded their illicit business to almost every region of the United States.

U.S. assistance has helped Mexico strengthen its capacity to combat illicit drug production and trafficking. Among other things, extraditions of criminals to the United States have increased; thousands of Mexican law enforcement personnel have been trained; and controls over chemicals to produce methamphetamine were strengthened. Nevertheless, cooperation with Mexico can be improved.

The two countries do not have an agreement permitting U.S. law enforcement officers to board Mexican-flagged vessels suspected of transporting illicit drugs on the high seas; an aerial monitoring program along the U.S. border was suspended because certain personnel status issues could not be agreed on; State-provided Vietnam-era helicopters have proved expensive and difficult to maintain and many are not available for operations; and a State-supported border surveillance program was cut short due to limited funding and changed priorities.

In 2006, in response to a congressional mandate, ONDCP and other agencies involved in U.S. counternarcotics efforts developed a strategy to help reduce the illicit drugs entering the United States from Mexico. An implementation plan was prepared but, according to ONDCP, is being revised to address certain initiatives recently undertaken by Mexico. Based on our review of the plan, some proposals require the cooperation of Mexico, but according to ONDCP, they have not been addressed with Mexican authorities.

Jim Kouri, CPP is currently fifth vice-president of the National Association of Chiefs of Police and he’s a staff writer for the New Media Alliance (thenma.org). Kouri also serves as political advisor for Emmy and Golden Globe winning actor Michael Moriarty.

Bill Clinton told Jon Stewart that he'll slit his own throat if his wife is elected president.

You're not alone, Bubba.

Bill was on The Daily Show promoting his new book, "Giving," which is of course the long-awaited sequel to "Receiving."

The lamestream media told you:

Prestigious long-time high-ranking distinguished but Republican senator Larry Craig of Idaho has fallen from grace and plans to resign in disgrace after 27 years in Congress, after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor of disorderly conduct.

An undercover police officer cited Craig in a public toilet after observing conduct “often used by persons communicating a desire to engage in sexual conduct,” according to the L.A. Times.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Experts, sequestered for days with the U.S. Constitution, and an entire set of federal and state law, have been unable to find any basis for criminalizing, “A desire to engage in sexual conduct.” The ramifications for survival of the human race, if such a law does exist, could be devastating, they say.

Reviews of the police transcripts show no overtly criminal acts, no solicitations, no physical contact, no abusive treatment and no exchange or offer to exchange money, making Craig’s uncontested consent to a criminal charge beyond mysterious. The fact that his entire political party turned on him and sought his resignation only deepens the mystery.

In addition, according to teams of scholars studying the case, misdemeanor disorderly conduct is not grounds for removal from office, they say. Why a kick-arse powerful senator would not use the weight of his office to get such a charge overturned, dismissed, covered up, or countercharge that it was a Democrat dirty tactic, was unknown.

“But he does sound gay,” said one person familiar with such things.

America Alone author Mark Steyn notes that, with an undercover officer working a sting operation from a public toilet stall in an airport, there probably aren’t any jobs Americans won’t do.

The lamestream media told you:

Two years ago Hurricane Katrina pounded New Orleans, causing massive destruction and 1,600 deaths. Federal and state agencies have failed miserably in reconstructing the city, especially the hardest-hit Ninth Ward. Some 12,000 people are now living on the streets.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Reporters nationally have failed to inform the public that it is not government’s job or within its legitimate authority to take money from the public and give it to people who built their homes nine feet below sea level in a storm alley, when those homes are predictably flooded out or washed away.

Experts note that only clodpoles would rebuild homes in a hurricane zone below sea level after they were destroyed. “Even the federal government isn’t that dense,” said one high ranking official on condition of anonymity. “We are so lucky that area remains deserted,” the anonymous source said, “because it’s an accident waiting to happen. I don’t understand why the news media keeps pounding us for not building there.” Shocking but visually appealing images of aging wrecks accompanied the report.

According to social-welfare advocates, flood survivors have the same civil right to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and start over, as any illegal alien who walked through forty miles of snake-infested blazing desert to get here.

An apparently drunken homeless person colorfully surrounded by trash on a city street, when interviewed live by CNN asked, “Why isn’t somebody doing something for us?”

In other news, “Chocolate City” Mayor Ray Nagin and police officials have continued to refuse to return hundreds of firearms they stole at gunpoint from residents during the emergency.

“Stole” is a strong word, according to the Second Amendment Foundation, a civil rights group. Technically the guns were, “illegally seized without warrant, due process or probable cause,” they say, but later point out that the guns were, well, “stolen.” Read about the lawsuit to get the private property returned, paid for, or replaced with new firearms, at saf.org.